All it takes is love

I was 11 years old when I saw an episode of Night Court about a man, tail-chasing Dan’s best friend from college, who became a woman. They called the procedure a “sex change,” which I object to, but we’ll deal with that later.  She was lovely. Really lovely. So much so her old best friend Dan didn’t recognize her. I was completely fascinated by the storyline.

In the episode, the writers touch a little bit on what her reasons were, and most of the characters have very measured and rational reactions to the news (except of course for Dan, who hurls some terribly hateful comments at her). Then we learn she is engaged to a man who is fully aware she is a transgendered woman, and I was fascinated by him too. What kind of person do you have to be to be willing to marry someone who had a sex change? ran the thoughts in my 11-year-old brain.

I think I can say from experience now that all it takes is love.

Gender, as I like to say, is a tricky thing. It is nearly impossible to define, but many people define it very literally by a person’s anatomy below the belt. To the extent that any change in that anatomy results in the impression of a completely different person. Check out this language from Dan when he learns his friend is not just dressing in drag, but has in fact has the full surgery:

“This is a gelding. My friend is in a bottle of formaldehyde somewhere.”

What I love about this episode, called “Best of Friends,” is that it is clear from the beginning that Dan is being a close-minded asshole. While he is shocked by his friend’s news, in the end he accepts her decision. The story had a big impact on me, at an age where I was starting to be more aware of the differences, and inequalities, between men and women.

You can watch the whole episode in three parts, beginning here:

BTW, I totally had Markie Post’s hair back then, only with a little less volume.